Great Monday Morning Laughs

I usually hate getting chain letters and spam email, but when one of my friends sent me the following I was so glad I opened it instead of immediately dragging it to the trash.

It had me laughing so hard I nearly spewed coffee all over my keyboard. This is going to be a great week if I had that kind of belly buster moment first thing Monday morning. Not to mention ... the week started with a holiday so it's going to only be a short little while till the next weekend.

Have you ever said the right thing ... the wrong way ... and ended up with a hysterical Freudian slip? Well, here are 5 that will make you feel better about anything you could have ever possibly said!

Think before you speak ...

Testimony #1: I walked into a hair salon with my husband and 3 kids in tow and asked loudly, "How much do you charge for a shampoo and a blow job?" I turned around and walked back out and never went back. My husband didn't say a word.

Testimony #2: I was at the golf store comparing different kinds of golf balls. I was unhappy with the women's type I had been using. After browsing for several minutes I was approached by one of the good-looking gentlemen who works at the store. He asked if he could help me. Without thinking, I looked at him and said, "I think I like playing with men's balls

Testimony #3: My sister and I were at the mall and passed by a store that sold a variety of candy and nuts. As we were looking at the display case, a boy behind the counter asked if we needed any help. I replied, 'No, I'm just looking at your nuts. My sister started to laugh hysterically. The boy grinned, and I turned beet-red and walked away.

Testimony #4: While in line at the bank one afternoon, my toddler decided to release pent-up energy and ran amok. I was finally able to grab hold of her after receiving looks of disgust and annoyance from other patrons. I told her that if she did not start behaving 'right now' she would be punished. To my horror, she looked me in the eye and said in a voice just as threatening, 'If you don't let me go right now, I will tell Grandma that I saw you kissing Daddy's pee-pee last night!' The silence was deafening after this enlightening exchange. Even the tellers stopped what they were doing. I mustered up the last of my dignity and walked out of the bank with my daughter in tow. The last thing I heard when the door closed behind me, were screams of laughter.

Testimony #5: Have you ever asked your child a question too many times? My three-year-old son had a lot of problems with potty training and I was on him constantly. One day we stopped at Taco Bell for a quick lunch, in between errands It was very busy, with a full dining room. While enjoying my taco, I smelled something funny, so of course I checked my seven-month-old daughter, she was clean. Then I realized that Danny had not asked to go potty in a while. I asked him if he needed to go, and he said 'No'. I kept thinking 'Oh Lord, that child has had an accident, and I don't have any clothes with me.' Then I said, 'Danny, are you SURE you didn't have an accident?' 'No,' he replied. I just KNEW that he must have had an accident, because the smell was getting worse. Soooooo, I asked one more time, 'Danny did you have an accident ? This time he jumped up, yanked down his pants, bent over, spread his cheeks and yelled 'SEE MOM, IT'S JUST FARTS!!' While 30 people nearly choked to death on their tacos laughing, he calmly pulled up his pants and sat down. An old couple made me feel better, thanking me for the best laugh they'd ever had!

Bonus: This had most of the state of Michigan laughing for 2 days and a very embarrassed female news anchor who will, in the future, likely think before she speaks. What happens when you predict snow but don't get any! We had a female news anchor that, the day after it was supposed to have snowed and didn't, turned to the weatherman and asked: 'So Bob, where's that 8 inches you promised me last night?' Not only did HE have to leave the set, but half the crew did too they were laughing so hard!

Now, didn't that crack you up? Pass it on to someone you know who needs a laugh and remember we all say things we don't really mean, so think before you speak!!!!!


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Packin up the kitchen ...

The dust has settled ...

the photos are hung ...

and there is something much more fresh and tasty than cold leftover pizza for breakfast during this move!

My Inn The Kitchen blog has moved to WordPress. While the neighborhood here at Blogger has been warm and friendly, we just needed room to grow.

Check out it's new home at www.InnTheKitchen.com

--Rachelle

Grocery Wars

After a hot cup of coffee and some homemade scones, my friend Jaden shared this with Brian and I this morning. Thank goodness it was after the coffee ... or else I might have stained her rug spewing in laughter.

This is looks like an oldie, but it's new to me so I'll have to share. It combines some clever writing ... with fresh produce and some guys that looked like they had way too much fun in the making of this video.

Behold, Grocery Wars ...

Top 10 Most Unusual Hotels

Last week for Travel Tuesday I had a boat load of fun researching the most wild and crazy types of accommodations there are for travelers ... from capsules to caves and even one underwater hotel. I posted the trivia below ... and realized there is one REALLY COOL one I forgot ... Treehouses! I can't think of a better way to bring out your inner kid than sleeping in a treehouse! Check it out along with the other unusual and weird places to rest your head at night.


#1) Top 10 Unusual Hotels: Ever consider sleeping underground in a cave ? Try this ...

Dessert Cave Hotel


#2) Top10 Unusual Hotels: If you're not claustrophobic, how about a Capsule Hotel.

Capsule Hotel


#3) Top 10 Unusual Hotels: If you're ok with being chilly, try an Ice Hotel!

Hotel de Glace


#4) Top 10 Unusual Hotels: Hotels famous for landscaping? Ever try a Garden Hotel?

Garden Hotels


#5) Top 10 Unusual Hotels: Have you ever slept underwater? A hotel where you need scuba gear to enter:

Jules Underwater Hotel


#6) Top 10 Unusual Hotels: Library Hotel? Yes indeed. Each floor is themed after a category of the Dewey Decimal System.

Library Hotel


#7) Top 10 Unusual Hotels: Here's 1 built on an artificial island & structured in the shape of a boat's sail.

Burj Al-Arab


#8) Top 10 Unusual Hotels: Take a look at this retired 1936 Ocean Liner that became a hotel.

The Queen Mary


#9) Top 10 Unusual Hotels: How about staying in a posh room ... that used to be a jail cell?

The Liberty Hotel


#10) Top 10 Unusual Hotels: While its not quite a hotel, its definitely the best Green/Eco lodging in Central FL: My Inn!

Tremain Street Cottages


BONUS: For all the Tarzan types ... Treehouse Hotels!

Cedar Creek Treehouse and Treehouse Out 'n About I think I'll take the Serendipi-tree.

Be sure to take a look on Twitter today to see what other unusual trivia I find!

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Blueberry Stains and Yearbook Memories

I've been cross-eyed from all the technical jargon of picking up a website and moving it from one server to another, so I needed to take a break. The fun parts of the web stuff have felt a little like high school yearbook class ... photos... layout ... putting things together. But the last two days have been more like highschool trig and algebra. Code. Numbers. Bleh! I'm all hunched over like Quasimodo and my fingers scrunched from being glued to the computer.

So what does a girl do? She bakes. Most people would consider that more work. And maybe it is ... but there is delicious goodness produced at the end. And at least I'm standing at my countertop instead of sitting at my desk so I can give my numb butt a rest.

I have blueberry juice stained fingernails ... flour and sugar all over the floor ... and the jitters from all the coffee I drank this afternoon to wake me out of my computer coma while baking up a storm. Coming right out the oven ... some made-from-scratch blueberry scones with bowl-lickin-good citrus glaze. Photos, recipe and kitchen mess soon to be seen on www.InnTheKitchen.com.

Now, with my sweet tooth satisfied ... back to the code and numbers ...